Alexis Bushnell

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Text reading consent and negotiation 101 on a rainbow background

Consent & negotiation 101

One of the ways Consent Academy explains consent is as “a shared feeling created together through a process of constant, collaborative discovery. It’s a feeling that comes from voluntary agreement (made without coercion) between those with decision-making capacity, knowledge, understanding, and autonomy.” I love this as it removes the

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Vetting 101

In kink, vetting is standard and expected. Essentially it’s a way to keep yourself safe by finding out if someone you’re interested in is a decent person. Vetting is seeking out information on potential safety concerns and how honest someone is being with you. Things like they ignored

A bare tree growing out of a patch of thick brambles. Brambles and ivy wrap the bottom of its trunk.

Trying matters.

I saw a post on Facebook last week from a tattoo artist talking about the power of tattooing the number of days sober on loved ones of people who had died. They talked about it being important to recognise that they tried; that the trying mattered. In true Facebook fashion,

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Consent and negotiation from an Autie perspective.

Text from my talk at OPWS Consent Weekend 2025. If you attended this class live, please leave your anonymous feedback so I can learn and improve it, thank you Anonymous feedback form - click here! Intro. Hi, I’m Lexi (she/her) and I’ve been in kink my entire

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On becoming chronically ill.

For a few years now I have been processing grief and, more specifically, my aversion to processing it. Nobody loves grieving but, since losing my Gran at 11 and then my Dad at 14, I have become very adept at avoiding it for a variety of reasons. Grief came up

Greysexuality and the fear of sexual attraction.

Greysexuality and the fear of sexual attraction.

I was 36 the one, and so far only, time I experienced sexual attraction. That was last year and I am hoping with everything that I have that it never happens again. I didn't realise at the time that what I was experiencing was sexual attraction. In fact

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Power and Ulysses pacts.

The corrupting influence of power has been on my mind a lot lately, both on a global scale, within smaller communities, and personally. I'm not going to discuss the global stuff here so let's start with why it's been on my mind personally and

5 square communication cards with cute chubby unicorns holding blank cards. On them is handwritten; I feel sad, I feel angry, I feel scared, I am in a trauma response, I feel insecure.

Communication for when you can’t communicate.

Sometimes I can't communicate effectively - that trauma life! But really, when I'm triggered (in the medical sense) or my nervous system is activated through intense anxiety, stress or sensory overwhelm, my brain goes into what's commonly known as "fight or flight"

Black text reading "live every day like Elle Woods after Warner told her she wasn't smart enough for law school" on a rainbow background of yellow, orange, pink, purple and blue.

How Legally Blonde saved my shitty week.

This week has been a lot about facing my social vulnerability. I am easily manipulated and taken advantage of by people because I take people at their word and give people the benefit of the doubt. And in the midst of the awfulness that causes, and the trauma that brings

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Let’s talk about jealousy.

A partner once said, "you haven't got a jealous bone in your body" to me, he was mistaken but it inspired this writing. Being polyamorous people can assume that I never feel jealousy, but I do. I feel jealousy - but instead of lashing out and